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A normal Friday night for Dan Tucker turned decidedly weird last week when he was loading the fridge at the Gordvale Arms. While packing the drive-through fridge, a "winged goblin thing" dropped out of the night sky and made off with several slabs of Carlton Cold. "I was loading the last of the Fosters', and about to start on the rest when I turned 'round and there it was, right? Just starin' at me, like. It sort of made this hissing sound and started grabbing at slabs. Must have been a tough pr**k, cos it was throwing them around as like they were plastic. It threw a couple of slabs of light beer away." |
 Dan points out the location where he left the beer |
Despite disbelief from his co-workers, Dan is adamant about his story. Despite not having had the chance to take photos, he was able to give our artists an accurate description of the creature he saw. He also presented a dimpled and dinted slab of light beer as evidence. Now the question needs to be asked - are these mutant monsters some sort of freak kangaroo? A mutant that lives in the swamps and drains around the Dandenong area? This correspondent believes that they are the result of chemical dumping in the Dandenong Creek area - who amongst us would swim in that glorified drain? The Truth recommends keeping an eye out at your family barbeque, and not to leave any large quantities of alcohol outside - who knows when this freakish mutant might strike again. Make sure your kids are safe and at home, and not out drinking - this monster may soon take a human life. |
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