>From merlin.usc.edu!usc!elroy!ames!lll-winken!uunet!philmtl!philabs!ttidca!hollombe Thu May 25 09:42:43 PDT 1989
Article 12737 of rec.games.frp:
Path: merlin.usc.edu!usc!elroy!ames!lll-winken!uunet!philmtl!philabs!ttidca!hollombe
>From: hollombe@ttidca.TTI.COM (The Polymath)
Message-ID: <4495@ttidca.TTI.COM>
Organization: The Cat Factory
Posted: Wed May 24 14:59:06 1989


This is one of my favorite stories in the genre.  It's appeared in several
FRP oriented publications, so some of you may recognize it.  Most of the
participants are known to me, personally.  They assure me it happened.
This is how Richard Aronson tells it (with his permission), slightly
edited to save bandwidth.  I give you the tale of Eric and the Dread
Gazebo:

     ...  In the early seventies, Ed Whitchurch ran "his game", and one of
     the participants was Eric Sorenson.

     Eric plays something like a computer.  When he games he methodically
     considers each possibility before choosing his preferred option.  If
     given time, he will invariably pick the optimal solution.  It has
     been known to take weeks.  He is otherwise, in all respects, a
     superior gamer.

     Eric was playing a Neutral Paladin in Ed's game.  He was on some
     lord's lands when the following exchange occurred:

     ED:  You see a well groomed garden.  In the middle, on a small hill,
          you see a gazebo.

     ERIC:  A gazebo?  What color is it?

     ED: (Pause).  It's white, Eric.

     ERIC:  How far away is it?

     ED:  About 50 yards.

     ERIC:  How big is it?

     ED: (Pause).  It's about 30 ft across, 15 ft high, with a pointed
          top.

     ERIC:  I use my sword to detect good on it.

     ED:  It's not good, Eric.  It's a gazebo.

     ERIC: (Pause).  I call out to it.

     ED:  It won't answer.  It's a _gazebo_.

     ERIC: (Pause).  I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and arrows.  Does
            it respond in any way?

     ED:  No, Eric, it's a gazebo!

     ERIC:  I shoot it with my bow (roll to hit).  What happened?

     ED:  There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking out of it.

     ERIC: (Pause).  Wasn't it wounded?

     ED:  OF COURSE NOT, ERIC!  IT'S A GAZEBO!

     ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!

     ED:  It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO!  If you really want to try to
          destroy it, you could try to chop it with an axe, I suppose, or
          you could try to burn it, but I don't know why anybody would
          even try.  It's a @#$%!! gazebo!

     ERIC: (Long pause.  He has no axe or fire spells).  I run away.

     ED: (Thoroughly frustrated).  It's too late.  You've awakened the
	  gazebo.  It catches you and eats you.

     ERIC: (Reaching for his dice).  Maybe I'll roll up a fire-using mage
            so I can avenge my Paladin.

     At this point, the increasingly amused fellow party members restored
     a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is.

Thus ends the tale of Eric and the Dread Gazebo.  A little vocabulary is a
dangerous thing.

-- 
The Polymath (aka: Jerry Hollombe, hollombe@ttidca.tti.com)  Illegitimati Nil
Citicorp(+)TTI                                                 Carborundum
3100 Ocean Park Blvd.   (213) 452-9191, x2483
Santa Monica, CA  90405 {csun|philabs|psivax}!ttidca!hollombe