Reverend Andrew Wheelan is the man who may have finally officially verbalised the thoughts and anger of the popular man. A serving obmudsman since he left seminary college, he is very much the public view of the sort of man who would observe and comment on the workings the God organisation. Dressed in a most conservative black suit, it doesn't take much imagination to see the white collar that is the badge of office of the organisation.
"You leave school thinking 'Hey, this is a great job, I get to intercede between the public and God, make sure that everything is on the level.' Its a chance to make a difference, to know that the people you serve are being heard at the highest level. But over time, you know, you start to realise that you're just talking to yourself. No one is listening." He rubs his face and looks out the window. "But still they come, with their hopeful faces and short prayers, thinking that if they tell me then I can do something about it. It just got too much. I mean, for a while you can pretend, just sit and nod and pretend to listen and collect your paycheck. And I think thats where many of my fellows stop. But I couldn't face it, not any more."
Wheelan takes a few moments to calm himself. When he is asked about hearing confessions, he laughs ruefully. "Well, I guess that is the one good thing really. The God Organisation is not only too busy to hear your requests, it ignores your trespasses. I mean, you listen to them, but they can't see you and you could be reading a book for all they know - lets face it, it was only ever for the benefit of those talking. How many times did you see some action taken against those who had trespassed against God? Not for years, right?"
Wheelan is animated now. "And that's the problem, isn't it? Years ago,
if you did something to annoy God, there would be an immediate reaction,
and not just a request to say 'Hail Mary' or something. No, your town
would be reduced to slag, or bears would come and eat your children.
Well thought out, caring retribution as a flip side to direct intervention.
In those times you could contact your ombudsman, he'd directly ask God,
and Bob's your uncle, you'd be catered for at your wedding, or your
enemies would be smited(sic) with fire. Now? No chance."
When confronted with Wheelan's accusations, Archbishop Thomas Fitzpatrick tries to laugh it off. "You have to put these things in perspective. Not only are you talking about a single man complaining against a system that has worked for 2000 years", and Fitzpatrick leans back in his chair, the vision of a relaxed and confidant man, "but the whole God organisation is built around a different vision now. Yes, when we were a small outfit, we could provide the sort of individual services that some people demand, but now we service millions of people across the globe. We provide decent baselevel services to them all - so some malcontents complain about losing their personalised service."
Since accusations of using monopoly leverage in the 1600s (accusations were leveled that the God organisation was using its monopoly in what you can believe to gain a monopoly in what you can think and say), the God organisation has been reorganised into a number of seperate speciality organisations, aimed at providing a wider range of options to those who wish to believe. To Joe Public, there exists a sometimes not-so-friendly rivalry between them, but Wheelan disagrees. "Don't let appearances fool you - they may all look different, but they are all controlled by at the top by the same small group. And it doesn't stop with just the western world either - the Buddhists have been telling us for years that its all the same God with different names, and they are not speaking metaphorically. At the top you'll find the same small collection of people, the same names - this is a world-wide conspiracy."
I then asked Wheelan about the response to his accusations, and whether
there had been any official reply. He shook his head slowly. "No, no
official reply. But there have been... ". He clears his throat. "There
have been threats. Nothing traceable of course, but just messages left
for me here and there. Most of them are fairly much your average
warnings 'God will be angry', 'You are upsetting Him', but I have had
several rather threatening messages, ending up with this one last
week." Wheelan brings out a letter cobbled together from newspaper
clippings. Spelt out quite clearly is the words "You are going to
go to Hell". I asked Wheelan whether he had taken this to the police.
"Yes, of course. They came with me to the office and showed this to
the head ombudsman, but he just shrugged and said 'God can forgive anything
if you are truly repentant'. The police took him at face value, but he
had that glint in his eye. And there have been other actions too - my
car was destroyed by a meteor, my parents killed in a freak 5 foot
wide storm. Even the insurance agencies are calling them 'Acts of
God', but the authorities have no shown no sign of taking any action
against the God organisation."
If Wheelan is right, and he is going to punished for his deeds, then he may have accomplished his desire - to get the God organisation to work on an individual level, rather than at a congregational level - but at the cost of his own eternal damnation. Only time will tell if God can really forgive any sin, or whether Wheelan has put his immortal soul in danger.